In brief
The ongoing war in Ukraine has drastically altered the landscape of dating and family planning. With a significant number of men enlisted in the army or living abroad, women like Daria and Khrystyna express feelings of isolation in their search for love. The war's impact extends beyond personal relationships, contributing to declining marriage and birth rates, prompting concerns about the future of Ukraine's population.
Sitting in a wine bar in Kyiv on a Saturday night, Daria, 34, opens a dating app, scrolls, then puts her phone away. After spending more than a decade in committed relationships, she's been single for a long time. I haven't had a proper date since before the war, she says.Four years of war have forced Ukrainians to rethink nearly every aspect of daily life. Increasingly, that includes decisions about relationships and parenthood—choices that are shaping the future of a country where marriage and birth rates are in sharp decline.With millions of Ukrainian women having left at the start of the 2022 full-scale invasion and hundreds of thousands of men either deployed or living abroad, the prospect of meeting someone to start a family feels increasingly remote. Many women who remained express frustration about the limited dating pool. Khrystyna, 28, residing in Lviv, notes a decreasing presence of men in her city, attributing it to fear of conscription. Many, I would say most [men] are afraid to go out now, in this situation, she says. The psychological burden on those who've returned from the front is equally concerning, as many soldiers struggle with trauma.Daria articulates her concerns, identifying three main types of men available to women: those avoiding conscription, soldiers in long-distance and fleeting relationships, and younger men who may leave the country at any moment. The limited options weigh heavily on her desire to find a lasting connection.This disconnection and uncertainty are echoed by soldiers on active duty, who feel imposing long-term commitments is impractical given the risks they face daily. With marriage rates falling sharply—from 223,000 in 2022 to 150,000 in 2024—couples face increasing challenges amidst ongoing warfare and existential threats.Dr. Liubov Mykhailyshyn, a gynaecologist, voices concern over the war's impact on fertility, as chronic stress and trauma threaten to impact future generations' reproductive health. With Ukraine's population expected to shrink dramatically, these trends are seen as a societal catastrophe resulting from the conflict.According to demographers, the effects of war on marriage and birth rates highlight a larger demographic crisis with dire implications for the workforce and economic growth. As the future remains uncertain, Daria reflects on the painful reality that she may remain alone, not by choice, but due to the war reshaping the possibilities for relationships and family.
