Navigating Love in a Gender Imbalance: China's Dating Camp for Single Men

In light of China's significant surplus of men, a new documentary explores the trials faced by single men attending a dating camp led by a coach. As they grapple with societal pressures and their own insecurities, they navigate the complicated dynamics of love, self-identity, and the cultural expectations tied to marriage.

China confronts a substantial demographic challenge with nearly 30 million more men than women, leaving countless single men in search of love amid societal pressures. The documentary "The Dating Game," directed by Violet Du Feng, delves into this topic by following dating coach Hao and his clients through a week-long camp focused on improving their chances of finding a partner.

The film offers a window into the lives of three clients, Li, Wu, and Zhou, who come from impoverished backgrounds and bear the burdens of the one-child policy's long-lasting effects. Their struggle is framed within a broader societal context where economic status and class play a huge role in marriageability. Filmmaker Du Feng emphasizes the need for dialogue in a culture with acute gender disparities. "It's about how we can bridge a gap and create dialogue," she states.

Hao, with over 3,000 clients, employs various techniques to coach these men—from makeovers to questionable dating advice like "push and pull," a strategy combining compliments with insults, to garner attention from potential dates. However, this approach raises concerns among the participants about authenticity, as Zhou expresses discomfort with the curated online personas they adopt.

The documentary tackles the increased pressure on men in China to meet traditional expectations surrounding marriage and success. Dr. Zheng Mu refers to this societal phenomenon, highlighting a stigma that leads to significant mental strain for men struggling to transition from the status of single to partner. The economic toll of dating can also be great—as Zhou points out, spending on a single outing can consume half his monthly earnings.

While these narratives unfold, Du Feng reflects on societal perceptions of masculinity and emotional challenges faced by many men, sometimes resulting from broken familial relationships. The film acknowledges the rising trend of virtual relationships among women seeking emotional connection without the pressures of real-life dating.

"The Dating Game" presents a realistic journey of self-discovery amid laughter and reflection, bridging intimate conversations about love and personal validation against a backdrop of societal challenges. Ultimately, through all the ups and downs, the message remains clear: finding connection and self-acceptance is crucial in navigating this landscape of loneliness—a theme resonating far beyond China's borders. The documentary is set for release in select UK cinemas this autumn, drawing attention to both the unique and universal aspects of love in modern society.